Wha The Hell Is This Feeling!
by peach taffy
Summary: Based off a past experience. I'd love some answers if you have any thoughts,please.


She was in love with him and didn't know why. They weren't even friends in fact, they barely new each other. They were both 14.

Her name was Sara she had the brightest spirit and had a spark for life. Her friends spoke to her as if she were amazing. Truthfully, the moment Sara fell for James she thought she wasn't worthy of him. When she first started to like him she thought she wasn't funny, smart or social enough for him. Sara was unpopular and a lot of the kids made fun of her while James was friends with the popular crowd.

It started when one day, after James taunted, teased, and tortured Sara. She was sure James hated her and thought: _FINE, I hate him too_! Then, one day out of the blue he showed interest in her. She felt confused and crazy when she thought she could actually like him back. She quickly rationalized the idea he could ever like her away, but since then, for whatever reason, she could never forget about him. Her feelings grew strong and summer break came. She couldn't forget about him and she really couldn't contain herself and wrote him an email short and sweet, she liked him. Afterwards, she thought, okay well he'll never be interested. She decided to forget him while secretly wishing he would. She became much more social, funny, and tried to be all of the things she thought he would like. And just thought _I wish I could just see his face one more time._

The next semester of school started, the minute James saw Sara he actually tried to make eye contact with her, a lot. She was taken back, confused, kind of excited but for whatever reason she couldn't bring herself to look at his face. This went on for weeks, he tried to make eye contact with her and she couldn't look at him. She wanted to but for whatever reason the minute she realized he tried to look at her face she turned away. Finally, one day she brought all her strength together and looked into his eyes and he turned away as if he were angry. Three more years of this went on they would give each other eye contact and they wouldn't.

Senior year came up, Sarah was anxious high school would be over and she would never be able to see James' face ever again. Out of sheer fear, hope, and love she sent him a valentine. But like a dope forgot to sign her name. he walked in that morning he looked kind of happy her face turned red and started starring at her desk for the whole class period. She was so embarrassed and thought _god I'm so stupid why did I send him that? He didn't ask for that. He's probably annoyed that SOME STUPID GIRL sent him that valentine. _Despite her embarrassment, she actually went online and told him that she was the one who did it. He actually expressed gratitude and said he would thank her the next day for him valentine. For the first time she felt really happy , she felt like now he knew and was excited to see him the next day. He didn't go see her and felt as stupid as ever and skipped the rest of school to go home.

Weeks after she was sure this boy didn't like she thought _ok I've made my decision No going back I'm going to forget about him_. The next few weeks she would realize he was trying to give her eye contact and she rationalized it away. I've made my decision. Even so she felt this feeling in her chest, this really awful, horrible feeling, it actually felt like the core of what horrible would be, as if she were doing something cosmically wrong. Even so, she decided to go through with her decision, _he's not interested and this is NEVER going to happen.  
_  
And it came was faster than ever, graduation day. He was sitting in front of her, they caught each other's gazes. It was sad really and happened as if it were happening in slow motion. And something snapped inside of her. Sarah freaked out, _I just need to see his face one more time, talk to him, something, at least wish him congratulations or something! _As she raced to go find him she was stopped by friends and family for pictures. She smiled for the flashes while cursing them out in thought. Relief came as soon as she could get away from the smiling crowd. She ran as fast as she could to open the doors to the parking lot. As she flung open the door to the moment of truth her vision was blinded by white light and when her eyes adjusted, her eyes hardened. She realized the parking lot was empty and everyone went home. It was tragic. She spent her time after that, just thinking I wish I could just see his face one more time. Years after high school, she received her wish, to see his face, but haunting her dreams almost every night. And the same horrible feelings follows her to this day so intensely, she feels like throwing up sometimes. And thinks _WHY?!!_


End file.
